No 152 Of Twitterers & Hoodless Spoofers

Today started early for me at 5.30a.m. as I got suited and booted (and of course showered beforehand) in readiness for a breakfast seminar on Twitter to be delivered at 8a.m..

I fired into Belfast in the convertible an hour later from Antrim with the hood down in the hope that air blasting at me 60 miles an hour for 20 minutes would have me fully woken up and ready to go by 8a.m.. It worked and was much needed. It turned out that the Hotel Internet connection wasn't working, then there were problems with the laptop and an awful amount of spoofing on the hoof was to follow.

I'm not sure whether an ability to spoof on the hoof its a good quality or not - pity they don't give olympic medals out for it tho.

No.151 Of Rosina & Snowy

The early birds are getting earlier. I was in the pool by 7.30a.m. today and it was packed. I must set the alarm for 6.30a.m. in future. Beaten to the poolside twenty times over at the start of the week is not a good start to the week say I.

Last Thursday a friend (Kd) & I saw a lovely picture in the local charity shop whilst out cycling late in the evening. It was by Rosina Wachmeister, who it turns out Googles impressively.

I said the picture would look great on my lounge wall and declared an intention to buy it the following lunchtime. Anyway by 12.30p.m. the following day I was staring at a blank wall through the window where the picture used to hang. Knowing Kd's sense of humour I suspected she'd already gone in and nabbed it. So I went in and inquired about the picture and its purchaser "Oh a lovely gentlemen who gave me twice the asking price bought it" I was assured by the attendant. Something didn't feel quite right. For some reason the episode reminded me of one of Tintin's adventure - "Red Rackham's Treasure" (or it may have been "The Crab with the Golden Claws") when he goes into a shop and asks about an antique model sailing boat which is gone when he comes back for it the following day. The surly description of the man given to Tintin who bought the ship tells you that there's trouble ahead that might even require the intervention of Snowy the dog.

Anyway later that evening when I called round to Kd's to see Kd's very own Snowy there was the picture hanging on the wall and Kd sporting a grin just as wide. The games people play....

No.150 Of Those With the X Factor - Naturally

I've realised I'm made a terrible mistake feeding the office plants these bionic grow pellets you can get nowadays. Those at the entrance to Island House have grown so much they're beginning to look like two large guards on duty with tentacles that might end up round your throat in a kind of triffids sort of way. Emm must go out the back on my way out tonight.

I went for lunch at the Antrim Park today with the Lady Captain. As always, she was on great form as she tucked into her roast beef Sunday dinner and me my veggie equivalent. She's great craic and so natural with it...must find her a bloke....

I watched the X Factor last night and felt for those whose dreams were shattered as they nearly made the final 24 but didn't. But then I thought I'm not so sure that I should feel for them at all. Aren't most just clammering for fame and that awful glitzy celebrity status that the British revere and crave so much nowadays and seem increasingly hollow because of it?

Ho Hum. Time to evade some triffids, if not celebrities, as I make my way home.

No.149 Of TV and Whats PC

I attended the Belfast artist festival last night. I'm loathe to say I didn't enjoy the Zimbabwe band playing at the John Hewitt because every time you say this about an ethnic band you feel you'll be branded a racist. But I thought they were monotonous and a steal drum sounds great for the first two numbers but after that I want a bit my variety and a whole lot more boogey please.


I'm contemplating giving up TV for a year. This would involve loaning my big screen to someone and putting the other 3 portables that I have somehow accumulated over the years beyond reach in the attic. Such a sacrifice would mean giving up The Apprentice, the chance of a Susan Boyle moment, Gareth Malone and Paxman on Newsnight. Emmm a thought that needs more work methinks.


Oh heavens a text has just come in. Mother has finally learnt to text!

No.148 Of Inflated Prices & Inflected Voices

I was at the auctions again last night. It's a strange place but with some interesting characters - many of them traders looking for bargains and quick resales. I've decided I don't like traders they know what they're doing and they usually pump up the prices.


For some reason I always thought the job of an auctioneer was quite glamourous but as I watched two of them work last night taking it in turns to sell car after car I wondered if it is actually more monotonous than anything else. Between them the pair sounded like they were at a cattle auction throwing out the ever increasing figures in a fast monotonal drawl that would suddenly become inflected like the voice had just hit a farmer's stone wall and fallen over the otherside. Bizarre. I wondered whether they talked to each other in a similar fashion afterwards or got home and reported to their other halves that "YES (inflection) they had a good day at work and No (inflection) they hadn't made their bonus that month.


I bought a dozen chairs for the new training centre. And Yes I did outbid the traders and No they weren't as cheap as they should have been.

No.147 Of 1,2,3 at Full Pace

Wow! I seem to be starting many of my blogs off like this nowadays. So much is happening and at such a pace too. Last night we opened our new training centre which looked highly presentable after everyone had chipped in at least an hour of their time to help out moving furniture, hoovering the carpets or running rubbish to the tip. I guess about 40 people must have showed up at some point last night. The evening seemed to flow well with lots of people circulating, and networking with no-one that I could see stuck on their own trying to look occupied by studying the newly painted walls.

So that's task No 1 of 3 successfully completed for this month. No. 2 is also this week (our first Education Conference on Thursday) with No.3 (Twitter seminar) coming up next week. Onwards at full pelt!

No.144 Of Good Service & Iron Will

Wow! The service at Antrim's HomeBase is good. I went in last night looking for a loo seat and a grass strimmer (an odd combination granted). The first assistant approached me and offered help. She talked me through the various loo seats available - the pros and cons of each and how they are fitted. When I asked her what she knew about strimmers she conceded it was time to pass me on to a colleague and led me downstairs and introduced me to assistant No.2 who was equally as helpful. Antrim Homebase I salute you!

I'm testing myself today to see how disciplined I am. I'm in my office all day. Behind me are a crew of about five workers all beavering away trying to finish the training suite for Monday. My challenge is not to lapse into temptation and pick up a paint brush to help out. Instead I must apply myself to office work which though not urgent is important and needs to be done soon. If not Iron discipline then at least light sheet metal. Was it Angela Rippon the newsreader who was once called Iron Ange when her ear ring fell off while reading the news and she resisted the temptation to pick it up. She said afterwards "what was I expected to do tell everyone to wait while I grovelled around on the floor looking for my jewelery. I don't think so."

Time to pracitce discipline, stop blogging and get on with some work.