No.160 Of Dames, Barristers & Priests

I've driving around in a borrowed car at the moment. This is a story for another blog. Turning on the music system as I drove to the pool this morning my lug holes were treated to the very best of Vera Lynn's war time songs. People complain today that video games and Internet relationships cause us to lose sight of reality. It's occurred to me that Dame Vera was propagating much the same over 50 years ago by belting out songs in the early 40s which would have you convinced that tomorrow you'll by on a beautiful tropical beach in the arms of the one you kissed last night at the end of the last waltz at the Hackney Empire.

It's been a strange week with loads happening but nothing much achieved or at least that feeling that lurks like the black dog that follows those who constantly feel themselves to be at the centre of chaos, disorder and mayhem.

I'm off to see an old friend in a local play tonight. He's a barrister but I always felt he was meant for the church. He's playing a priest and all he's got to do is act naturally...

No.159 Of Disbelief & Diversification

Boy the heavens opened yesterday as I chased around Dublin from meeting to meeting. In fact I think I had 7 meetings in one day yesterday which must be something of a PB. I stopped half way through to have lunch (and another meeting) with Hannah Carney a performance coach. We sat out in the yard under a huge umbrella pretending the weather was fine (whilst keeping a close eye on the dripping water to make sure it kept well away from coats and brief cases) as everyone inside the restaurant looked out in disbelief.

In the afternoon one of my meetings was with a guy in a very striped shirt who took me to a bright room with strip lighting dazzling blinds and stripey wallpaper. I felt for a moment like Derren Brown was going to make an appearance and lead me away to a dark room and tell me exactly what was in my mind during the earlier part of the disorientation process.

My last meeting was with a guy also in the event management industry. He explained how things had not been going great for him so he'd decided to diversify. He said so far he's produced a critique of a piece of employment legislation, a film script, a pocket book for the police to carry around on criminal law and is ready to print handbooks for a particular market in Libya. That's diversification alright- fair play to you sir.

No.158 Of Hanging Around & Dashing About

I spent a good part of yesterday erecting blinds I had purchased from IKEA. The instructions came in five languages none of which included English. If the Swedes had overlooked Ulster Scots or Irish I would have understood it but the most commonly spoken language in the world emmm bit of a slip up there I think. Anyway along came Radek my Polish friend who kindly translated one of the five for me. He said that the instructions simply explained why no screws are provided with the blinds and advised that you should consult someone who knows about DIY before attempting to hang them. No such person was around but this morning the blinds were still hanging which suggests that they'd met their match in me.

I'm busy this morning preparing for a full day of networking tomorrow in Dublin. The hardest part of these types of days is hoofing round Dublin on foot getting to the next meeting without being late or at least looking presentable and not covered in sweat. One of these days may be I'll be so important that they'll all come to me but I doubt it.

No.157 Of Factoring in a bit of Cynisism into the XFactor

Right that's it. No more XFactor. Last night was just ridiculous. They flew the contestants all over the globe to sing one shortened song and after 1.5 hours of viewing we still hadn't been told who was through and who was going home. This was despite the fact that at the beginning of the show we saw clips of the judges delivering the bad news. Not only that but they immerse these poor souls in utter decadence and celebrity and ask them all the same banal question "How much do you want this?".

I wonder if it is also fair to say that the XFactor producers could be just a little bit more green than they are. Last night's episode alone must have accounted for at least 5 unnecessary long distance flights when I'm sure the short listing would have worked equally well in London. And why the judges can't arrive for the auditions at least in the same limo rather than one each is beyond me. Come on guys why take yourself so seriously share a taxi or take a bike in.

No.155 Of Chairs Floors & Unpainted Doors

I went to IKEA yesterday for the first time for to buy a set of blinds and came away with a trolley load of gear and a good £200 light. It's an enormous place with maps all over the place with big arrows saying "You are here". Makes a nice change going somewhere and feeling completely overwhelmed.

Less overwhleming is the task ahead today of errecting another 6 chairs for the new conference suite painting a couple of windows and shoving up a couple of blinds. Just when you think the job's been done you step back from it all take a few days off and realise that it's not as finished as you first thought. Thought there was just one door remaining to paint until I tried the new loos and discovered another.

Must get a jog in too and choose the direction carefully. The wind today is mighty - real nail your kids to the floorboards stuff.

No.154 Of Being Healthy & High

Yes! Result. First 10 pages of War and Peace digested last night (just 1,290 pages to go..) followed by 20 lengths of the pool this morning porridge and bananna for breakfast along with hot water with the juice of a lemon. This is what I call ending the week on a healthy high.

Energy/enthusiasm levels may take a hit however as I prepare for a whole morning of accounts - roll on the weekend.

I had the builder round to the house last night to talk about renovations/extensions. It's easy to get carried away. Before he left I had already got him building a jetty into the river and a jacuzzi tree house. The poor man left in a hurry shouting over his shoulder that he may be back.

I wonder if War and Peace might be any easier to read high up in a jacuzzi?

No.153 Of Open Declarations of War

Ok so its war on War and Peace. Finally, last night I plucked up the courage to start this monster of a novel - or perhaps more accurately to "assess the job" before starting this evening.

There are it seems 27 main characters in W n P (incidentally in Russia it is called Peace and War did you know?). Apparently in Russia you can refer to someone in three different ways; by using their first name, their patriarcname or their informal/nickname and a lot of this goes on in the book. So my guess is that the reader has to wrestle not with 27 names but as many as 80+. My preference in the past has been for books with no more than 3 characters thereafter I struggle or end up flipping to the front all the time to the List of Characters to remind myself who is who. I feel a battle if not a war coming on already.

There's 1,300 in my copy of P n W. I've worked it out that if I read an average of 10 pages every day that's 130 days of my reading life accounted for or if you like now until Christmas and beyond.

Anyway onwards! Into battle.......!