No.207 Of Lost in Translation in Ballymena

My heads spinning today. Not only do I have strangers from Germany texting me in the middle of the night who appear the next day on Twitter I now have a Jack Starnes comment (at length) on my blog in Chinese. Is it at all surprising that I feel a little bit disorientated nowadays?

Today I'm shooting off to see a fancy new electronic whiteboard demonstrated in Ballymena. Apparently it can do everything bar cook Christmas dinner for you. I wonder if it can translate Chinese into English?

No.206 Of Strange Texts @Nite

Boy there's some rubbish on the T.V at the moment. Last night it was the turn of numerous C list celebrities to big up Victoria Woods and tell us how close she is to being superwoman. Sycophantic baloney if you ask me.

I've just finished reading Twitterville by Shel Israel. It's a great read and well researched. Yes I share his views on the benefits of Twitter but I wonder if the book explains well enough just how useful the networking function of Twitter can be.

Last night probably at about 3.30a.m. I was woken up by a text message from "Brands4shanghai". All it said was "Thank you". I then spent half an hour trying to get back to sleep wondering who I knew in Shanghai. The answer I was convinced is no-one. Today I boot up and find out that Brands4shanghai is following me on Twitter and belongs to a bloke called Frank Hellweg. Any clearer? Nope me neither.

No.205 Of Sticky Situations

I've just finished sending the last of the Christmas cards. Yes I know it's late but better late than never as they say and often for me it's never. I've never licked the seals on envelopes since I visited a prison in Glasgow many years ago and saw a huge vat of glue the prisoners were preparing which they explained was used as sealant for envelopes. It looked disgusting. No doubt I look disgusted when they told me what else they put in it when the "Screws" weren't watching. May be I was being gullible but I've never licked envelopes since just in case I wasn't.

Loads of networking to do this week plus two interviews. Golly I can't bear doing interviews....

No.204 Of Blonde Snow

Wow! Snow and loads of it too. The dog doesn't quite get it. You chuck a snowball at her and she tries to grab it and bring it back to you. Wrong game I keep trying to explain. She's so blonde at times..

Boy there's some rubbish T.V on at the moment.. Makes me want to give the idea of T.V up for next year but then there's really unmissable stuff on occasionally too. If I did that's when I'd have to blag my way into the neighbour's house to watch a Newsnight special or Celebrity Wifeswap (!). Dilemmas hey?

No.203 Of Dark Wood All Around

I've just booked another weekend in London. Airline expenses Belfast - London it's like a tax on the bored. Currently I'm trying to book a wacky unusual restaurant but without much success as they all seemed to be closed on Sundays. Dans Le Noir, it seems, is a restaurant where you eat in the pitch black. The idea is that it heightens the remaining senses including taste. According to the reviews however it may just be a cheap attempt not to let the customers see the food before they try it.

I've spent three hours tidying my desk today. Finally, I can see wood.

Nightmare on the Channel Tunnel says the online headlines at the moment. A whole 6 hours stuck on a train in the dark. Nightmare? Wow we're a spoilt lot nowadays...

No.208 Of Goals Galore

It's crawling to the end of the year and not far off the time when you are supposed to reflect on the 12 months that's been and I guess, whether you've achieved the goals/objectives you set out to bag at the beginning of the year. I'm forever early wherever I go and whatever I do so why not with the review too?

My goals were b/logged earlier this year as follows :

* Eat better - yes I think I've achieved this. Although my foray into cooking was barely successful and very short lived.

* Read more - yes I've done this. I've read some really great books this year including Jonathan Dimbleby's "Russia", Derren Brown's "Tricks of the Mind" and Chekov's Short Plays. Gary Kasporov's "How Chess Imitates Life" is also a formidable read.

* Watch less T.V - yes I've achieved this but I still watch too much. I would like to give up T.V altogether but then if I had I would have missed classic T.V moments like Susan Boyle's Xfactor audition not to mention some great interviews on Newsnight with Jeremy Paxman sitting with a meat hook ready to have a go at another politician.

* Surround myself by positive people not negative ones and where possible by people who inspire and motivate you - yes I've done this and it's made a huge difference to the year. This year I've met people professional and socially who I've really grown to respect.

* Exercise more - yes I've done this and managed (just) to keep manboobs at bay for another year. It's been much harder though than ever before involving 40 lengths of the Antrim pool 3 times a week. I've earned that flat chest.

No.202 Of Chocolate? Maltesers...

I enjoyed enjoyed Cat on a Hot Tin Roof last night at the Novello Theatre. I would have really enjoyed it had it not been for two things. First the lady sat directly in front of me intent on starting and finishing off all by herself a family sized box of maltesers. The wrapper coming off, the rattle of chocolate ball bearings in a box followed by the munch & the crunch whilst youre trying to get your ears accustomed to missippi accents was infuriating. Why doesn't the theatre just sell bars of chocolate which dont make so much noise? A box of maltesers? You might just as well sell marackers. Second the guy sat two seats along from me didnt help. He chuckled and cheered and clapped his way through the performance. Yes it was funny at times and yes the acting was in the case of the lead exceptional but hey Mr you need to get out more and hey next time Blackpool is looking for a laughing clown send them your CV.


Im typing this at a free Internet station at Heathrow Airport courtesy of Zurich Insurance the Free Risk Management Service provided by Zurich. I know this because their rep has said it next to me countless times as I've banged away at the keyboards. The trouble is he says it with so little conviction or sincereity that you can tell he believes its all pretty pointless. What is interesting is that the commercial Internet stations (you know the ones that charge you 1 pound for 20 minutes 15 of which are spent trying to get the thing to work properly) are all busy whilst the free ones next door at Zurich are almost empty. What does this tell us about customer buying habits and how difficult they are to predict?

When back in the office later today I shall exmaine a CV just in from a Internetter who has seen mention of a vacancy in our marketing department. He has begun well by referring to my blog as having "cult status". 12 followers please heed...